Prayer means a lot for us Christians. Everytime we are down and fall short, we get on our knees and utter a prayer. When life is at stake, in danger and under threat, prayer is all we can whisper. As prayer became the resort when in crisis, it somewhat lost its sacred meaning when life is not in crisis.
Prayer is not only for Christians. Prayer, meditation or whatever term anyone likes to use is very important thing to do in our daily lives regardless of what beliefs we are in.
Whispering a prayer is not just all about asking for blessings (food, keeps from harm, new job, etc.). It is all about welcoming the blessing being granted to us even when we were still sleeping at night. It is about giving thanks to the very Source and embracing the peace, joy of being and love unfolded just for you and me for each moment.
Because of too much hurry, we tend to forget to whisper words of prayer. And so we often missed out to witness and experience the true living brought to us by the daily gifts of life. May it be from the laughter of the kids around, simple touch and big hugs, wiggling tail of the dog, a silent presence of the trees, fragrant air, blooming flower, simple "hi" and smile, songs of the birds, raindrops or sunrays...all content with love, joy and peace if only one is aware of their presence and FEEL the harmonious flow of life, as what God designed it to be!
Just now, as you pray what harmony you can find in your life amidst the confusion, pain and doubts around you?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Bad experiences or Good experiences: Which Part Should We Learn?
I have had my bad and good experiences when it comes to love-life story. Well, who has none?
From those kinds of pain and sweet experiences, I able to know myself well. It can not be denied how many times I watched myself feeling coward to face the reality, ready to run away from pressure and problems from my relationship because I was afraid I won't be able to find comfort outside the " comfort zone".
And then there came a time when there was nowhere to go when the pain was unbearable after watching someone you loved just walked out, faded away as if you have never loved each other one day in your life...as if you have never smiled one sweet day when you said your names at first meeting...as if you have never kissed passionately when you were still together before everything changed.
Times like that, there is nowhere to go but step out from the comfort zone, take a deep breathe and face the reality. Eventually, there are more things to learn than pain to remember.
Probably, some who have same private pain and laughter experiences, though different stories to tell, have had different reactions and acceptance to life's realities. From pain, some learned how to hate people involved and easily manage to forget them; and from laughters, some learned how to keep wonderful memories and enhanced life.
Life moves on after all. And the questions often left : how much we've learned from such realities? From bad experiences or from good experiences, which part should we face and learn?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
So What Comes Up at 33?
I have now arrived in my thirty-three years of age. Now come to think of this. I have had my thirty-three years of inhaling air, watching how the sun rises and sets, feeling the coolness of the air when it rains and the humid air when it is 35 degree C/F. Oh wow! not to mention my stay on land, my swimming in the seawater sometimes, the water I gulped and the food I chewed throughout those long years.
If someone would hand me the bills today for enjoying all those things mentioned above, I'm sure I might work for another thirty-three years and yet the money I might have saved is not enough to pay my bills.
Luckily, all those stuff I inhale, intake and enjoy are called blessings, gifts or whatever words used that implies free gifts (why, is there a non-free gift huh?). It's not surprising to know why we often take them for granted.
While no one hand me the bills, I consider the cost is clear. No worries. So is there anything to be concerned of about being 33? Well, my mama has. She firmly believes like all filipino moms do that something must comes up at thirty-three( supposed to be earlier than that). She scribbled two mental lists for me and possibly planning to engrave them into a gold plated copy and hung on my mirror.
The lists go like this (with my added emphasis): #1 list: Time to marry. Remarks: you have had enough enjoying your single life and in fact, you are overdue with your status. Recommendation: Again, time to marry someone!
(my younger sis and husband bambi)
#2 list: Time to have kids. Remarks: you have had enough time for your niece and nephew, in fact strangers mistaken you the mom of those kids. Recommendation: Again, time to have kids of your own!
(my elder sis with her kids pearl and jo-i)
Now who said the cost is clear? Hmmm...okay, I think it's time to consider it now. But wait a minute, is being thirty and above supposed to be easier than few years earlier? Why I've got an urgent memo now to answer the issue within 24 hours? Aha, sounds like my "age" culture came into the scene.
Well anyway, I made it a point now to myself not to be vulnerably affected by this urgent call from worried mama. Honestly, she is more worried than me because she sees I am not worried, which means I won't take action on this matter immediately.
Why hurry? Only fools rush in, as the song goes on. Now let's be honest to this issue. Given the fact that I have not found yet the right guy to marry, there is nothing I can do at this moment, (uh oh...gottcha!). Although a handful guys showed interests to, it does not mean I should jump in for the sake of our culture dictation. (Filipina women are you listening?)
So what am I supposed to do now? Nothing. Just sit back and relax. Because there is a right time for everything to happen under the sun. Each present moment unfold its own miracle and beauty of life. Who would believe that one of these days, that miracle happens to be my soulmate out there waiting his right time to be a part of the moment and forever with me that I am enjoying one day at a time.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
5 Myths about a Handicapped Person
The Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) defines a disabled person as someone who has a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on his or her ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.
With this legal difinition, a handicapped person is viewed with limited capacity and is therefore different from the world of normal people. Just one look to a man sitting in his wheelchair, or an amputee leaning on his crutches seems enough to conclude about his disability.
I won't blame some able people who looked at us differently. They are simply confined in a narrow mind-setting based on their limited perception about physical disability. These mindsetting can be traced up from the way a certain handicapped is literally observed by an able person in his daily activities. Eventually, myths about handicapped arose and became the basis of their judgments.
I tried to present the accepted myths about handicapped so that we become aware of the accepted beliefs without validities on them. I might missed some myths. But at least I have tried to point out the common myths, which some handicapped are also misled.
# 1 Myth : A Handicapped person is not Physically attractive/ or not Sexy.
Instead of saying not physically attractive, some openly say that handicapped people are not Sexy. With the widespread used of gorgeous and macho models posted on different billboards or shown on T.V screen, physical body became the basis of sex appeal to the human eyes. Muscled arms and legs for men or firm but soft arms or legs for women are seen sexy. colored bright eyes, taut lips, and even voice are considered sexy if fall into the accepted standard of "sexy" things.
Here, handicapped people don't physically belong. Because we are not seen as physically normal. Once, I chatted a new friend online. He asked me to send my picture after I told him I am a handicapped. After I photo share his writing on screen read, " Hey, are you kidding me? I can not see your disability. Because you have a great body!" Well, the picture I sent hid my paralyzed arm and limp knee. Then I sent him the second picture to test how he will react. This time it was a photo that showed my defected body parts. Then came his reply, " Oh, i see you are a handicapped. But the other picture is really sexy!"
Handicapped people should not be misled with this myth. Because every human being has his own unique beauty that could not be compared with others. Normal physical body is just one of the many basis of beauty. However, it is totally shallow. Sooner or later the physical appearances normally change. One woman model can be gorgeous at twenty but becomes an old sagging body at sixty. Physical beauty is inconsistent because it is just an outer skin where weather, time, illnesses and other situations can interfere and disrupt it.
So, hey, why worry about our physical condition that some don't recognized it as a sexy thing? Don't you know that your sweetest smile and natural sparkling eyes are the real sexy things that human beings ever have? One might be sitting on her wheelchair or laid in his bed. But one sweetest curve of smile of your lips or cheerful glittering eyes appear on your face reflect one greatest beauty that you have, which is genuinely called beautiful! Smile wherever you are, whoever you are with or meet along the street. And don't forget to believe that handicapped people are sexy human beings too, in ample genuine ways. Such beauty is the visible expression from the beauty of the heart that which matter most.
# 2 Myth : A Handicapped person is Physically Inferior
Physical strength is often misinterpreted as the real superior strength. Although this is very important for a person to use and perform in all his daily activities, physical strength is only one of the useful helpers for manual labors and performance. Again, a handicapped person can hardly join to this category. Because the world of able don't think so. Well, the basis of this myth is reflected to what an able person see how a handicapped manage himself with the help of his different initiatives or maybe someone's assistance. With his disability, he is seen as virtually confined in his disabled or weak body.
We should not shrink and submit ourselves to this myth because human beings are not measured on what he can carry along the way but on how far he can carry on through life. There is more stronger than a physical ability can do. It is our strength from within. Just like physical appearance, physical strength is not lasting. It's energy won't hold on for a lifetime because external things or conditions can affect inevitably (ex. sudden accident or illnesses). But our inner strength remain unchangeable regardless of time and space because it has a genuine source of power, the Greater Source.
With an inner power or strength, one can not be considered as an inferior. The good news is we are all endowed with this immeasurable strength, may it be a normal or disable one. But then again with the limited understanding about strength, physical is the most easy thing to be spotted and measured for human ability. Media has emphasized this with much exaggeration as if physical thing is all there is. No wonder why lots of t.v commercials advertised various energy drinks and capsulized vitamins that boost physical energy because they market like pop corns for the people who believe the superiority of physical strength.
# 3 Myth : A Handicapped person is Unfit for Job and Position
Nowadays, many handicapped people are commonly seen working together with the able people in many companies. Thanks to the kindhearted employers or companies that believed to our potentials in the field of jobs or career.
However, this is not totally accepted to some companies or employers. There is still an existing discrimination that handicapped people are facing on applying for jobs. I remember when I applied for a job in a certain government office back in the Philippines. I was confident to apply for the vacant position because I met the requirements. I finished Mass Communication and have my Civil Service Professional Career (and Sub-Professional too) certificates. Those were the two listed qualifications reqiured for the applicants. The position was Information Officer. Did I get the job? No, sir! The reason: Handicapped. I didn't fit for the position because an Information Officer must have pleasing personality, which they understood as normal physical body. Sadly, I failed to meet the third list of qualifications.
There are three common reasons why handicapped failed to get the desired jobs: a) Employers are concern about the space for handicapped inside the office. They have no enough space for the wheelchairs. b) Employers are concern about the equipments exclusively provided as friendly-user for the handicapped. c) Employers are concern about the pleasing personality, which commonly accepted as normal physical body.
Most employers are not willing to find solutions to answer their concerns. Instead, they just hire the able people applicants to avoid the problems. Why bother to provide space and equipments suitable for handicapped when there are able applicants? And for the pleasing personality, some employers want to have some poised employees walking in their high heeled shoes, move or walked gracefully like super models on stage. An employee who sits in his wheelchair, supported by his crutches or struggling with his paralyzed arms are not seen attractive in the office. He is viewed as pitiful body instead of having an air of command to the clients.
What is being missed in this accepted myth is the fact that handicapped workers are more loyal and hardworking in any job assignment. Because it is in the desired work that a handicapped expressed his endowed skill, intelligence, talents and ability with enthusiasm and sincerity. This makes a handicapped more productive than anyone can imagine.
# 4 Myth : A Handicapped person is Unfit for Marriage
I can not forget the common question I usually heard during my teenage years. Some people were curious to know whether I marry and have my own family someday or not at all. Some women discouraged me to get married with someone because I can not carry my baby with one arm, or maybe my future husband might hurt me physically and I have no physical force to retaliate. Actually, they are desperated wives and they were kindhearted enough to warn me that wives are housemaids and punching bags. I was not convinced anyway.
Actually, the myth like unfit to marry someone is an obscure belief. Some people looked at the marriage as simply a field where two people must share routine chores, errands and take care the kids, must comply sexual appetites, and must be physically normal people to be seen as attractive couple. And if none of these following systems are meet, marriage is a failure. Now in the eyes of the able people, handicapped people can hardly manage house chores to help spouse and take care of the kids. Their common concern is :How can he manage to take care others when he cannot totally take cares for himself? Sex is also their concern thinking how a handicapped perform when not all parts of his body response or move during the love making. With this common concerns, handicapped are seen helpless in establishing his own family.
Well, this is not a big deal for a handicapped who sees marriage as sharing and supporting each other's life. Many married handicapped people who are successful in their marriage lives. Because they recognized the very core of marriage life: to give and take unselfishly and unconditionally.
# 5 Myth : A Handicapped person is Useful only for Inspirational Stories
Being a polio since childhood, I have grown and watched how handicapped people are being treated and understood in the community where they belong. From the able kids to the adult mentality, handicapped people are simply different and somewhat confined in a different world. As a result, we are being understood differently. Thanks to the polite society who called us Differently Able instead of widely called disable or handicapped.
In spite of the new humanitarian label we have, differently able people are still understood as different. It is self-explainatory, so to say. The word itself does not change the perception regarding with the physical condition of a certain handicapped. Discrimination, however slight, is still there regardless of good intention of calling us Differently Able. Again, thanks to the thoughtful society who recognized our different abilities.
No wondered, with such views, every achievement and success of a disabled person becomes inspirational for the able. Every accomplishment he has that is assumed can be done only by an able guy is a big event like a toddler who's first word utter is a big celebration for mom and dad.
Well, if this is a kind of difference we can make to the world of able then be it. I am honored to do so. At least we have the share to make the world interesting and amazing. However, handicapped are people too. There is more life we have than just being an inspirational story for everybody. There is a force of life behind the scenes. Being treated as simply sources of interesting stories and make money from these is not fair. Because everyone, able or disable has his own share of expressing his ability, skill, talent and intelligence . And this is not for the purpose of catching the world's attention but experiencing the gifts endowed to every life. In this way, everyone is amazing in his own special ways. A certain Handicapped person is simply one of the human beings who can do what others can in his own unique way. He is just part of his amazing story of life but not the story itself that sooner or later be left out when the gist of the story dies.
These listed 5 Myths are accepted even by some handicapped people. Willingly, they submit themselves to what are understood and accepted by the crowd without checking the validity within themselves. We knew ourselves well than anybody think they do. We knew so well what we can do and so there is no reason to listen others telling us what we can not do. Stepping out from the label and myths about handicapped is a big leap towards discovering what power we have beyond disabilities, may it be physical or mental aspects. It's not what others think about us that can influence our lives but how we look at ourselves and understand the reasons why we believe our capabilities. We believe because we knew ourselves well and can do well.
With this legal difinition, a handicapped person is viewed with limited capacity and is therefore different from the world of normal people. Just one look to a man sitting in his wheelchair, or an amputee leaning on his crutches seems enough to conclude about his disability.
I won't blame some able people who looked at us differently. They are simply confined in a narrow mind-setting based on their limited perception about physical disability. These mindsetting can be traced up from the way a certain handicapped is literally observed by an able person in his daily activities. Eventually, myths about handicapped arose and became the basis of their judgments.
I tried to present the accepted myths about handicapped so that we become aware of the accepted beliefs without validities on them. I might missed some myths. But at least I have tried to point out the common myths, which some handicapped are also misled.
# 1 Myth : A Handicapped person is not Physically attractive/ or not Sexy.
Instead of saying not physically attractive, some openly say that handicapped people are not Sexy. With the widespread used of gorgeous and macho models posted on different billboards or shown on T.V screen, physical body became the basis of sex appeal to the human eyes. Muscled arms and legs for men or firm but soft arms or legs for women are seen sexy. colored bright eyes, taut lips, and even voice are considered sexy if fall into the accepted standard of "sexy" things.
Handicapped people should not be misled with this myth. Because every human being has his own unique beauty that could not be compared with others. Normal physical body is just one of the many basis of beauty. However, it is totally shallow. Sooner or later the physical appearances normally change. One woman model can be gorgeous at twenty but becomes an old sagging body at sixty. Physical beauty is inconsistent because it is just an outer skin where weather, time, illnesses and other situations can interfere and disrupt it.
So, hey, why worry about our physical condition that some don't recognized it as a sexy thing? Don't you know that your sweetest smile and natural sparkling eyes are the real sexy things that human beings ever have? One might be sitting on her wheelchair or laid in his bed. But one sweetest curve of smile of your lips or cheerful glittering eyes appear on your face reflect one greatest beauty that you have, which is genuinely called beautiful! Smile wherever you are, whoever you are with or meet along the street. And don't forget to believe that handicapped people are sexy human beings too, in ample genuine ways. Such beauty is the visible expression from the beauty of the heart that which matter most.
# 2 Myth : A Handicapped person is Physically Inferior
Physical strength is often misinterpreted as the real superior strength. Although this is very important for a person to use and perform in all his daily activities, physical strength is only one of the useful helpers for manual labors and performance. Again, a handicapped person can hardly join to this category. Because the world of able don't think so. Well, the basis of this myth is reflected to what an able person see how a handicapped manage himself with the help of his different initiatives or maybe someone's assistance. With his disability, he is seen as virtually confined in his disabled or weak body.
We should not shrink and submit ourselves to this myth because human beings are not measured on what he can carry along the way but on how far he can carry on through life. There is more stronger than a physical ability can do. It is our strength from within. Just like physical appearance, physical strength is not lasting. It's energy won't hold on for a lifetime because external things or conditions can affect inevitably (ex. sudden accident or illnesses). But our inner strength remain unchangeable regardless of time and space because it has a genuine source of power, the Greater Source.
With an inner power or strength, one can not be considered as an inferior. The good news is we are all endowed with this immeasurable strength, may it be a normal or disable one. But then again with the limited understanding about strength, physical is the most easy thing to be spotted and measured for human ability. Media has emphasized this with much exaggeration as if physical thing is all there is. No wonder why lots of t.v commercials advertised various energy drinks and capsulized vitamins that boost physical energy because they market like pop corns for the people who believe the superiority of physical strength.
# 3 Myth : A Handicapped person is Unfit for Job and Position
Nowadays, many handicapped people are commonly seen working together with the able people in many companies. Thanks to the kindhearted employers or companies that believed to our potentials in the field of jobs or career.
However, this is not totally accepted to some companies or employers. There is still an existing discrimination that handicapped people are facing on applying for jobs. I remember when I applied for a job in a certain government office back in the Philippines. I was confident to apply for the vacant position because I met the requirements. I finished Mass Communication and have my Civil Service Professional Career (and Sub-Professional too) certificates. Those were the two listed qualifications reqiured for the applicants. The position was Information Officer. Did I get the job? No, sir! The reason: Handicapped. I didn't fit for the position because an Information Officer must have pleasing personality, which they understood as normal physical body. Sadly, I failed to meet the third list of qualifications.
There are three common reasons why handicapped failed to get the desired jobs: a) Employers are concern about the space for handicapped inside the office. They have no enough space for the wheelchairs. b) Employers are concern about the equipments exclusively provided as friendly-user for the handicapped. c) Employers are concern about the pleasing personality, which commonly accepted as normal physical body.
Most employers are not willing to find solutions to answer their concerns. Instead, they just hire the able people applicants to avoid the problems. Why bother to provide space and equipments suitable for handicapped when there are able applicants? And for the pleasing personality, some employers want to have some poised employees walking in their high heeled shoes, move or walked gracefully like super models on stage. An employee who sits in his wheelchair, supported by his crutches or struggling with his paralyzed arms are not seen attractive in the office. He is viewed as pitiful body instead of having an air of command to the clients.
What is being missed in this accepted myth is the fact that handicapped workers are more loyal and hardworking in any job assignment. Because it is in the desired work that a handicapped expressed his endowed skill, intelligence, talents and ability with enthusiasm and sincerity. This makes a handicapped more productive than anyone can imagine.
# 4 Myth : A Handicapped person is Unfit for Marriage
I can not forget the common question I usually heard during my teenage years. Some people were curious to know whether I marry and have my own family someday or not at all. Some women discouraged me to get married with someone because I can not carry my baby with one arm, or maybe my future husband might hurt me physically and I have no physical force to retaliate. Actually, they are desperated wives and they were kindhearted enough to warn me that wives are housemaids and punching bags. I was not convinced anyway.
Actually, the myth like unfit to marry someone is an obscure belief. Some people looked at the marriage as simply a field where two people must share routine chores, errands and take care the kids, must comply sexual appetites, and must be physically normal people to be seen as attractive couple. And if none of these following systems are meet, marriage is a failure. Now in the eyes of the able people, handicapped people can hardly manage house chores to help spouse and take care of the kids. Their common concern is :How can he manage to take care others when he cannot totally take cares for himself? Sex is also their concern thinking how a handicapped perform when not all parts of his body response or move during the love making. With this common concerns, handicapped are seen helpless in establishing his own family.
Well, this is not a big deal for a handicapped who sees marriage as sharing and supporting each other's life. Many married handicapped people who are successful in their marriage lives. Because they recognized the very core of marriage life: to give and take unselfishly and unconditionally.
# 5 Myth : A Handicapped person is Useful only for Inspirational Stories
Being a polio since childhood, I have grown and watched how handicapped people are being treated and understood in the community where they belong. From the able kids to the adult mentality, handicapped people are simply different and somewhat confined in a different world. As a result, we are being understood differently. Thanks to the polite society who called us Differently Able instead of widely called disable or handicapped.
In spite of the new humanitarian label we have, differently able people are still understood as different. It is self-explainatory, so to say. The word itself does not change the perception regarding with the physical condition of a certain handicapped. Discrimination, however slight, is still there regardless of good intention of calling us Differently Able. Again, thanks to the thoughtful society who recognized our different abilities.
No wondered, with such views, every achievement and success of a disabled person becomes inspirational for the able. Every accomplishment he has that is assumed can be done only by an able guy is a big event like a toddler who's first word utter is a big celebration for mom and dad.
Well, if this is a kind of difference we can make to the world of able then be it. I am honored to do so. At least we have the share to make the world interesting and amazing. However, handicapped are people too. There is more life we have than just being an inspirational story for everybody. There is a force of life behind the scenes. Being treated as simply sources of interesting stories and make money from these is not fair. Because everyone, able or disable has his own share of expressing his ability, skill, talent and intelligence . And this is not for the purpose of catching the world's attention but experiencing the gifts endowed to every life. In this way, everyone is amazing in his own special ways. A certain Handicapped person is simply one of the human beings who can do what others can in his own unique way. He is just part of his amazing story of life but not the story itself that sooner or later be left out when the gist of the story dies.
These listed 5 Myths are accepted even by some handicapped people. Willingly, they submit themselves to what are understood and accepted by the crowd without checking the validity within themselves. We knew ourselves well than anybody think they do. We knew so well what we can do and so there is no reason to listen others telling us what we can not do. Stepping out from the label and myths about handicapped is a big leap towards discovering what power we have beyond disabilities, may it be physical or mental aspects. It's not what others think about us that can influence our lives but how we look at ourselves and understand the reasons why we believe our capabilities. We believe because we knew ourselves well and can do well.
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motivation for handicapped
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