And so when I reached at my teenage years, I was striving to be cheerful. I did not want to be trapped in an unhappy world of handicapped, as what my previous neighbors described. I became the favorite audience of my funny uncle because I used to laugh boisterously every time he narrated funny stories to us his nieces and nephews. Everyone were ignited to laugh whenever they heard me laughing especially when my uncle showed off his comical actions along with his funny stories.
However alone, it's hard to be cheerful sometimes when there is our handicap keeps tagging us, making some inconveniences to what we want to do more than our physical ability can afford. Sometimes, we stop trying and simply sigh like feeling desperate. Anyway, that never happens everyday since we have already mastered our routine activities.
The fact is that we can laugh and be cheerful everyday no matter what. We can simply laugh at our handicaps whenever we failed to accomplish some things we wish to do or simply remembered about our handicaps. We can simply pause for a while, stare at ourselves in the mirror and smile saying, " who cares if I can not make it? " " who cares if I am made like this? And just enjoy life. But how?
Now in my early 30's and being permanently away from my funny uncle, I made some new settings to stay cheerful and made laughter the easy way to do even without a comedy show. And not just staying cheerful but accepting me peacefully everyday. Here are the easy tips:
1.) Clear your jumbling mind first.
Whenever we are trapped by our minds for thinking too much, our minds jumbled with different negativity against our disabilities. The favorite scenes appeared are our pitiful defects and our inabilities to show off physical appearance with poise and gracefulness like others do. Our negative thoughts are not complete without adding the regular recollection of bad or painful pasts. All rolled into one feeling: either self-pity or anger, or both.
Worries and fears are commonly stored in our minds. We tend to get worry how we can adjust and adopt to the environments we lived in with the able people. We worries how to compete and get jobs along with them. In this area, fear arises whether we are totally understood and accepted or not by the society in spite of the laws implemented or campaign extended for us by many foundations. In other words, we worries so much what lies ahead and afraid how we gonna face and make it.
Relax. Pause for a moment without giving any thought of thinking a lot, too much to bear. Just stop, even for a while, playing the recorded bad feelings, worries and fears that have been there over and over again. And see if you can survive without them or comfortable in a non-thinking state. If you feel good without them even with little awkwardness, continue the practice until you love the feeling of clearing jumbling mind.
2.) Start feeling every sound and silence around you.
Because of thinking too much, we often missed to connect with some simple things around us. We are physically present but deeply absent. With our relax minds, good feelings become available. This is a chance to focus towards the things visible in front of us. Listen to their aliveness. And feel every sound you hear from them. For example, listen to the sound of the bird outside your backyard. Focus on it as if it's your first time to hear its melodious song. Whether you like it or not, a new refreshing feeling arises within. It makes you feeling good. That's the most rewarding moment of listening with feeling deeply.
Even when you live in a crowded city where irritating noise is abundant, you can enjoy listening to it. Just listen without bothering your thought to surface or interpret the noise. Simply feel every beat of it. If you are alone in your room, get a chance to listen every noise made by your movements or even breathing. Enjoy listening to the aliveness of every sound your hear. This makes you feel so alive and alert.
Take time to listen consciously to the sound of silence around you. It's funny to think what is the sound of silence like. Actually, it sounds peaceful and calm. Such state is more relaxing than we've expected. In fact, there is more than relaxing in it. There's a total peace that ease all the burden of being a handicapped where our painful struggle simply become joy.
3.) Take time to stare at you and feel freely.
When we become aware of every sound around us naturally, we also become aware of our presence. We listened to our breathing and the sounds of every move we make. This is another chance to focus watching ourselves. Again, without interpretation of our jumbling minds. Begin by staring at yourself in a mirror or just stare at the defected body parts. And feel every thing you have seen.
I have observed the amazing feeling when one day I was in my routine hot shower. I tried to listen to the sound of water running down to my body and feel every trickle of warm water to my skin. Slowly, my eyes rested on my paralyzed right arm as I watched the water running down there. Suddenly, I felt good and for the first time I felt compassion to my helpless arm. For more than 30 years, I had been avoiding staring at my defected arm and knee because it made me feels like being trapped in a dead body parts and no way out. I hated the feeling of being trapped without a chance to get out and get a normal body. But the moment I had in shower, listening and became aware of my presence enjoying the warm water, I experienced deep compassion to my defected arm and knee. Right there, I felt tingling sensation running through my nerves and veins. I felt aliveness in my right arm although I still can not raise it up or move my fingers. But the point is, there is a good feeling as I stared at my defects making me smiled and contented.
4.) Enjoy each moment and smile.
This fourth tip is the moment we get when we are totally relax, enjoying ourselves and those simple things around that we've missed to see and feel even when they were right there before. This is the moment where we truly experience life with so much smiles and laughter without much effort or striving. It all feels so good.
Good feeling towards self is not a choice. It simply begin deep within when we are feeling free, free from jumbling mind. It is the essence of peace and joy within. Even how much we choose to feel good but our mind is engrossed with much noises and negativity, it would be hard to simply feel good. Therefore, our attempt to find a happy life being handicapped and simply laugh at it must start from within.
Right now, you can do the four tips and experience the amazing moments full of fun and easy life. Begin it right now if you dream to laugh a lot, smile a lot and stay cheerful even when things don't appear the way we wanted them to be.
